Trapped
by The Page of Mind
Summary: All of this, the pain, the suffering, the fear. It was all their fault. (A one-shot about Peridot. From back around Friend Ship.)


**Author's Note:**

 **So I was really bored one night and I decided to write this. It's a one-shot abort Peridot. I don't usually write in first person so it may sound weird at times. It's also kind of short. Anyways here you all are!**

 **-Pinkpoole**

I was trapped. Stuck on a miserable excuse for a planet with no way off because _they_ had destroyed my warship. I couldn't contact Homeworld again because _they_ destroyed the communication hub. I had tried once. Was Homeworld coming for me? I might never have an answer to that question, because _they_ want to kill me. All of this, the pain, the suffering, the fear. It was all _their_ fault.  
I had nowhere to go. Nowhere to hide. Nowhere I could be safe. Those Crystal Gems had taken all of that away from me. Now they chased me across this miserable planet, constantly messing with my work and trying to kill me. They weren't going to give up until my gem was shattered. I wasn't safe from them anywhere.

This was supposed to be easy. A simple mission to a stupid planet. I should be home by now. I should be safe and sound on Homeworld. My stupid mission to this stupid rock should be far behind me.

But instead is sat, missing a foot and scared for my life, on a planet from which I might never escape.

Now is when I began to question my sanity.

But what does it mean to lose your sanity? Is it to simply go crazy? Do you slowly forget who you are and everything that matters? Is there something more to it than that? Was I slowly losing myself on this stupid rock? Had I already lost it? Hundreds of questions like these plagued my mind, and I wasn't sure I wanted an answer to any of them.

Ever since my escape pod crash landed on this miserable hunk of rock I had wondered if this would happen. I wondered what this pathetic excuse for a planet would do to me, but I didn't let myself get worried about it then. I told myself the same stupid lie over and over. That I would find Lapis and Jasper, complete the mission, get off this planet, and everything would be back to normal.

I was foolish to think anything would ever be 'normal' again, but I had told myself that lie so many times it almost felt like the truth.

I had been trapped on this planet for so long. Every day was a living nightmare. My only real goal was to reach the kindergarten and check on the cluster, but there were plenty of things standing in my way. I knew nothing about this stupid planet and those clods had been chasing me constantly. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if that had driven me mad. Earth was no place for a gem like me.

It was hard knowing that any moment could be your last. That any second one of my enemies could burst out of the bushes or from around a rock and attack me. Any noise, even the smallest, could be one of those clods sneaking up on me. Any time I felt eyes watching me it could be one of them, waiting for the perfect time to strike. Even know I was alert. Anything could be my enemy.

The tiniest mistake could mean my last second alive. A small mess up and I was dead. It was scary knowing that my death could lie around any corner. I was scared of everything. The hoot of an owl in the dark of the night. The feeling of eyes watching me from the shade. Sometimes even my own shadow. I knew I wasn't safe anywhere.

And I feel like my experiences on this stupid hunk of rock have changed me, though I don't know if it's madness of simply growth from being exposed to a life like this. I take more risks, but is that a good thing or a bad thing? The risks I've taken have nearly cost me my life. I feel, in a way, braver, but also reckless. I've made so many mistakes. I'm lucky to still be alive.

Am I going insane? I don't know. Will I ever know? Do I even want to know?

Too many questions whirled around in my mind. I wanted answers, but at the same time I didn't. If I had the answered I was scared of what I might find.

I still cared about my life, but did that mean hadn't lost my sanity? And even if I did how did I know that I wasn't still losing it...

I needed to stop thinking about these things. If I wasn't already going crazy these thoughts would make me. I needed to think about something else...

At least there was one thing that was still clear. I was still trapped.


End file.
